What a week of European football. Controversial goals, controversial free kicks, controversial controversy. Also, inside sources reveal some English bloke played for Milan against Manchester United, but goodness knows why they think thatâÂÂs important.
Nope, itâÂÂs the Premier League thatâÂÂs really intriguing this blog, and specifically the chat about a fourth-place play-off for that final Champions League spot. Is it a good idea?
In short, no. Shorter, N.
The only way of making this even briefer would be to punch the original exponent of the idea in the face.
Putting aside the argument that 38 games should be enough to decide the standings without the need for a play-off, itâÂÂs utterly ridiculous that a team finishing seventh, potentially some 20 points behind fourth, could play in the damn CHAMPIONS LEAGUE.
ItâÂÂs absurd enough that a team finishing fourth can. At least change the name of the tournament to âÂÂThe Also-Rans Midweek Kickaboutâ or something.
The play-off idea really might happen. For it to go any further, 14 of the leagueâÂÂs 20 teams need to back the idea, which is interesting considering 14 of the leagueâÂÂs 20 teams wonâÂÂt be in any way affected.
Predictably, those in favour include Martin OâÂÂNeill (Aston Villa are seventh) and those against include Rafa Benitez and Arsene Wenger (Liverpool fifth; Arsenal third).
It seems almost too obvious that the final spot shouldnâÂÂt go to fourth at all but the FA Cup winners, opening the race for a Champions League place wider than a play-off would and giving the tournament more importance.
Hell, play tiddlywinks for the spot if you have to. Just donâÂÂt give it to fourth.
None of the contenders even want fourth, it seems.
The best teams drop points now and then, but even as a fan you have to ask the question: based on this season, do any of Liverpool, Manchester City, Spurs or Aston Villa really deserve to rank alongside EuropeâÂÂs league champions? Really?
Saturday
Arsenal vs Sunderland
How the comparatively mighty have fallen: after hitting heady heights early in the season, Sunderland could find themselves as low as 16th, just two places off the drop zone, after this weekendâÂÂs fixtures.
True, that would involve Wolves beating Chelsea, West Ham and Hull dodging a draw and Wigan overcoming a Spurs team to whom they previously lost 9-1, but one thingâÂÂs certain: if the Black Cats lose to Arsenal, as they most assuredly will, theyâÂÂll no longer be just ahead of the rat race but very much in it.
Time, then, for some savage clawing and biting to restore their points advantage. Shame they wasted an opportunity to claim three points at Portsmouth by conceding in the 96th minute (presumably the refâÂÂs watch stopped), because this match at the Emirates isnâÂÂt the only toughie coming up.
Fulham next week, and a trip to Villa Park after that... Sunderland, you are very much part of the scrap. Oh, and Andy ReidâÂÂs out for another month. Good luck.
What wonâÂÂt happen: Sunderland to go down (though it wonâÂÂt be an easy ride); Fabianski to be awarded Goalkeeper of the Year; Wenger to admit/realise there was nothing wrong with PortoâÂÂs second goal.
What will happen: Arsenal 3-0 Sunderland. You read it here first.
FEATURE: The 2010 Premier League champions revealed
Everton vs Manchester United
A poetic prediction for you in honour of ValentineâÂÂs Day, which apparently happened during last weekendâÂÂs FA Cup fixtures:
Away team in red,
Home team in blue,
SahaâÂÂs gonna score,
SoâÂÂs Yakubu.
Thank you, here all week.
What wonâÂÂt happen: Marouane Fellaini to play for six months â an ankle injury has ended his season and dented EvertonâÂÂs quest for, uh, 8th. Physio reports suggest it came from his hair placing excess weight on his legs.
What will happen: Everton 2-2 United, with Saha stalling his former employersâ charge for the title.
Portsmouth vs Stoke
The teams at the heart of last monthâÂÂs Sub Goalkeeper Transfer Saga (it was a quiet window) do battle, but the man who moved between the two, Asmir âÂÂBeggersâ Begovic, is unlikely to feature.
Normally it would be folly to leave a club when youâÂÂre keeping David James out of the team, but when itâÂÂs Pompey, playing second fiddle to Thomas Sorensen at Stoke makes a great deal more sense. Beggers can be choosers, it seems. Again, just a bit harsh on the now third-choice Steve Simonsen, thatâÂÂs all.
In actual news, John Utaka has hit out at neverending reports claiming heâÂÂs earning ã80,000 a week (âÂÂearningâ in the loosest sense of the word), saying itâÂÂs actually âÂÂone third of ã80,000âÂÂ. That works out as ã26,666.66 recurring, which is precisely the kind of maths thatâÂÂs put Pompey in this mess.
What wonâÂÂt happen: The truth to come out: Utaka is on 80k a week but entirely in loose change, which is why he loses 50k of it every week down the back of the sofa.
What will happen: Shock but not so much awe as Pompey grab a point.
West Ham vs Hull
[Cheesy Blind Date-style theme music]
Voiceover (see if âÂÂOur Grahamâ is available): Ladies and gentlemen, itâÂÂs the Relegation Battle of the Week! And here are your hosts: Gooooold âÂÂnâ Sullivan!
[Canned applause]
Gold: Hello, hello. Hey Sully, what do you call a West Ham owner who makes dodgy deals?
Sullivan: I donâÂÂt know, Goldy â what do you call a West Ham owner who makes dodgy deals?
Gold: Upton OâÂÂGoode!
[Cough]
Sullivan: LetâÂÂs meet the teams!
Gold: In the clarety-blue corner, itâÂÂs everybodyâÂÂs favourite Italian leprauchan, Frank OâÂÂZola!
[Zola does a jig before being buried under his players. Canned laughter]
Sullivan: And in the orangey-black corner: heâÂÂll keep you back after school â itâÂÂs the one and only Headmaster Brown!
[Canned boos. As opposed to canned booze]
What wonâÂÂt happen: This show to be anything but a hit.
What will happen: A great tie for the neutrals, ending in a West Ham win that takes them into the nosebleeds of 13th.
Wolves vs Chelsea
Opinion is divided on whether Wolves should have been fined a paltry sum for fielding a weakened team against Manchester United.
Should they have been fined at all? Bigger teams do the same, and it shouldnâÂÂt be for the league to tell a manager what their best team is (otherwise Liverpool could arguably be fined for benching Aquilani).
But isnâÂÂt it good for a warning to be sent? But then shouldnâÂÂt it have been more money? Fine: ã25,000. Cost of relegation: ã40,000,000.
Questions, questions.
What wonâÂÂt happen: An answer from this blog or the league.
What will happen: Chelsea will be happy travellers to Molineux after crushing Wolves 4-0 at the Bridge earlier this season (3-0 after 22 minutes), and they should win this comfortably.
Sunday
Aston Villa vs Burnley
BurnleyâÂÂs trek to Craven Cottage last week wonâÂÂt have pleased the travelling Clarets fans (especially those who were misdirected on their way to a winetasting).
Their 3-0 loss to Fulham was, as the media always say on Football Manager even if your Barcelona side has redefined football with a sensational display in a 5-4 win over an equally incredible Manchester United, âÂÂnot one for the puristsâÂÂ.
ItâÂÂs undeniable that FulhamâÂÂs first two goals were provided by players so offside they were approaching the Welsh/Scottish/French/Russian border (delete according to correct geography).
But BurnleyâÂÂs defence was so poor it made Portsmouth FC look like Steve Jobs. The only punishment more fitting than defeat would have been death.
What wonâÂÂt happen: Much of an improvement against Villa.
What will happen: A home win puts even more pressure on Spurs
Blackburn vs Bolton
Blackburn supporter John Taylor, who died in the stands as his team played Stoke, was given a minuteâÂÂs silence, and the players given black armbands, before Rovers played Hull last week.
Sam Allardyce commented: âÂÂIt is a great shame. If it helps the family in some way, we will get them a win and three valuable points.âÂÂ
Kind of brings the true meaning of âÂÂvaluableâ into context, really, doesnâÂÂt it?
What wonâÂÂt happen: Big Sam to reflect on this tragedy and stop killing football.
What will happen: Ugly home win in the Battle of Lanarkshire. Sorry â Lancashire. The Battle of Lanarkshire is the less popular name for the Old Firm derby.
Fulham vs Birmingham
With the business end of the season peeping over the brow of a hill, this blog is looking at the only table that matters â Most Fouls Committed By An Individual.
All due respect to Kevin Davies and his foul ways, but it would be nice for someone to take his Cripplersâ Crown for once. And yes, heâÂÂs in the lead again.
The referee has blown up â love that phrase â a whopping 78 times this season to penalise the Bolton bully, who is searching for a seventh âÂÂtitleâ in eight seasons. Some feat. Better than his feet, certainly.
So whereâÂÂs the competition? Tim Cahill, five infringements behind on 73, is Daviesâ main rival to reap the rascalsâ reward, especially as team mate Fellaini, third on 67, is now out for the season.
But if you fancy a bigger punt than the kind Davies aims at defenders, place an outside bet on Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Zam(ora). Bobby Z has committed 52 fouls this season â some way behind the leaders, itâÂÂs true, but he has a point to prove.
This kind of fouling form could send him to the World Cup! And send him off 20 minutes later!
Could he be the man to replace Wayne Rooney in leaving his studmarks on an opponentâÂÂs nads? HeâÂÂs caused enough GBH to spectators before this season. When the ball hits your eye and youâÂÂre sat in Row Y, thatâÂÂs Zamora...
Hell of a strike on Thursday, though.
What wonâÂÂt happen: Roy Hodgson to sound any more like Harry H Corbett from Steptoe & Son if he tried. In his press conference about râÂÂsugar daddiesâ taking over football clubs, he was one sentence away from saying, âÂÂAl Fayed, you dirty old man.âÂÂ
What will happen: Fulham win. Off to Harrods to celebrate! No Shakhtars allowed.
FEATURE: Thrown out of Harrods, Shakhtar will throw Fulham out of Europe
Man City vs Liverpool
Big game. BIG. GAME. Massive. Stop the talk of a fourth-place play-off â this is it.
What wonâÂÂt happen: A match worthy of a fourth-place play-off.
What will happen: Proof, over 90 minutes, that neither team should be allowed into the laughably monikered âÂÂChampions LeagueâÂÂ.
Wigan vs Spurs
Someone needs to tell Harry Redknapp that a top-four team doesnâÂÂt lose to Wolves. Twice.
Someone needs to tell Roberto Martinez heâÂÂs far too dashing to be a Premier League manager, and he should instead form a beloved-by-housewives boy band with Roberto Mancini: âÂÂRobertwoâÂÂ. Think Robson and Jerome but with better accents.
What wonâÂÂt happen: A repeat of the âÂÂPredicted a draw only for Spurs to beat Wigan 9-1â fiasco. Not making THAT mistake again.
What will happen: 24-nil.
------------------------------------------------
FourFourTwo.com: More to read...
FEATURE: The 2010 Premier League champions revealed
Club news * Blogs * News * Interviews * Forums * Home
Follow us: Twitter * Facebook
