Potato fields and a prickly Pep
Those who suggest - often quite forcibly - that LLL has absolutely no clue about anything are probably quite right.
The blog went to bed (extremely late thanks to evil Spanish TV bosses) having watched an unspectacular but perfunctory 3-0 win for Real Madrid against Espanyol. âÂÂNo story here,â thought LLL. âÂÂTen points from 12. Team still gelling but winning nonetheless. Benzema scoring. HiguaÃÂn scoring. Ronaldo scoring. And passing, too. Nothing to see. Move along, now.âÂÂ
Action from the potato field (click to watch)
But the following morning all the talk on the wittering away radio stations was whether Real Madrid were exciting enough for the fans and if the coach knew what he was doing. The simple answers were "Probably not, but thereâÂÂs plenty of time" and "Of course he does, you buffoons. What have you ever won, sat on your fat backsides in your ivory towers of judgement?"
As José Mourinho pointed out after the win over Espanyol, âÂÂI grew up in a country where there are 10 million coaches. Here, there are 40 million.â Everyone is throwing in their 10 cents' worth on Real MadridâÂÂs performances so far, despite the iron-clad rule that a team isnâÂÂt supposed to be judged until 10 games into the season. (Then itâÂÂs perfectly fine, if necessary, to tap that ass of aggression.)
The headline on WednesdayâÂÂs AS grumps about âÂÂThree goals (and not much more)âÂÂ. As is to be expected, Marca is a little more positive, cheering a âÂÂgoalfest in a potato fieldâ â referencing MourinhoâÂÂs complaint that the Bernabeu turf is not what it was, whether due to a virus or (as was hinted at on the back page of SundayâÂÂs edition) vandalism.
LLL is led to believe that there were other games on Wednesday - it actually watched one of them with its own failing eyes - with Athletic Bilbao creaking into third gear to beat Mallorca 3-0 and Osasuna managing their first goals and win of the new campaign. âÂÂThere's too much emphasis put on the opening games,â said Osasuna boss José Antonio Camacho, correctly.
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Although Real Sociedad took the lead in the clash in Pamplona with a strike from Raúl Tamudo, the Osasuna revival was started by one of the most beautiful events in football, a sight that always gets the blogâÂÂs juices flowing no matter its mood: Walter Pandiani crashing a header into the back of the net from a cross.
Osasuna v Sociedad - click to watch
Over in Barcelona, the press is less than impressed by the two match suspension handed out by the league for Tomás UjfalusiâÂÂs challenge on Leo Messi in SundayâÂÂs Calderón clash. Sport's Josep MarÃÂa Casanovas is disappointed not to see stoning introduced as a punishment and complains that the âÂÂ(Disciplinary) Committee had a splendid chance to impose an exemplary suspension in defence of good players and the game.âÂÂ
The slowly unravelling Pep Guardiola has now turned to irony, note Marca, with his complaints that the media are partly responsible for UjfalusiâÂÂs tackle. And when Pep says media he means Marca, whose director Eduardo Inda recently called for Leo Messi to be taken out GoodFellas-style.
âÂÂIt wasnâÂÂt me who said you have to stop a player through civil or criminal means,â noted the Barça boss, who shrugged that âÂÂweâÂÂve lost the media warâ and the only way to respond was to win lots of games of football. If only it were that simple.
Barcelona are taking on Sporting in their round four league clash - not that youâÂÂd notice when flicking through the cityâÂÂs newspapers, with the big game of the night kicking off straight after.
That clash sees Atlético Madrid heading to Valencia to take on the league leaders, with AS pointing out that there is a big age difference between the two goalkeepers in action on the east coast, but in the process making it sound like something fishy may have happened between one keeper and the other oneâÂÂs Mum 20 years ago.
âÂÂDe Gea, 19, could be the son of César, 39!â gasped the paper.
In Wednesday night's other games, AlmerÃÂa are set to host Levante in what LLL suspects is a relegation clash whilst Hércules-hosting Zaragoza are already talking about having 35 finals left.
LLL Predictions
Barcelona v Sporting - Home win
Zaragoza v Hercules - Draw
AlmerÃÂa v Levante - Home win
Valencia v Atlético Madrid - Draw
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