Queen Elizabeth II thinks Daniel Sturridge should go to the European Championships ahead of Jamie Vardy, it has been claimed.
The monarch was overheard telling Roy Hodgson that a fully-fit Sturridge would be invaluable in France this summer, and that Vardy was an unknown quantity at international level.
Her majesty was absolutely insistent that Vardy’s success relied on Leicester’s system and Sturridge would combine better with Harry Kane
An anonymous source said: “Her majesty was absolutely insistent that Vardy’s success relied on Leicester’s system and that Sturridge would combine better with Harry Kane.
“She said there was no better natural finisher in England than Sturridge, and that while Vardy’s rise has been a fairy tale, international football was no place for sentimentality. The phrase ‘one-season wonder’ may have been used.”
However, Hodgson has denied the conversation ever took place, and rubbished reports that Elizabeth had told him to forget about an OBE if he ever picked Michael Carrick ever again.
“I don’t tell her how to open hospitals,” said the England manager, “and she certainly doesn’t storm into the dressing room and threaten to set the corgis on me unless we hit the channels and make the keeper work. That definitely in no way happened at halftime against Spain.”
Duke weighs in
The anonymous source added that Elizabeth has been impressed with Dele Alli, but wanted England’s midfield to be built around Ross Barkley, who she describes as ‘Gazza without shit for brains’.
“And she wants John Terry to come back, because she’s always had a soft spot for a tough bastard who gets stuck in,” the source added, “And the Duke of Edinburgh wants Theo Walcott to be left out again because it would be funny.”
The Queen has always kept her football opinions to herself, though she is thought to privately favour a traditional 4-4-2 formation with inverted wingers and central midfielders who will put the boot in. Prince Charles’s longstanding support for a 3-5-2 with wingbacks and a false nine makes him unfit, she believes, to be king.
In other news, Buckingham Palace is refusing to comment on reports that Elizabeth had led the royal family in a chant of ‘You’re not fit to wear the shirt’ at Wayne Rooney earlier this season.
Please note: This satirical news story is not real. But you already knew that, right?
