20. Scotland, away
This is how you kick off a kit list: smashing you right in the face with a bright pink Scottish number. This isn’t a case of stereotypical gendered colours, though – the men’s away kit is the same rose hue.
This dimply number is quite lovely but comes bottom of our list due to the divisive nature of the colour. Sorry, pink.
19. Argentina, away
Yes, this is just the same as the men’s shirt from last year – but that doesn’t mean it’s not nice, does it?
18. South Korea, away
This all-white away number is designed to symbolise the South Korean flag – the Taegeuk – and the unique pattern on the front represents Hanryu, which Nike say is “a cultural trend receiving high attention around the world”.
Our colleagues at FourFourTwo Korea might need to educate us on that; we think the design on the front looks like a map of the UK during a general election.
17. Thailand, away
We’ll be honest: before seeing this shirt 10 or 15 minutes ago we didn’t know what Warrix was (if we had to guess we'd have probably gone with an off-brand cereal, by the way) but now, here we are. Turns out they’re No.17 on this list of the finest threads in France this summer.
16. Brazil, home
Ignore that it looks like she's about to be tackled by a referee. This is a Brazil home shirt. Yes, it’s just another yellow-and-green Seleção number, but for goodness sake isn’t that enough?
15. Japan, home
Again, we're looking at the men’s shirt from the World Cup 12 months ago – but just bloody look at it. It was beautiful then, it’s beautiful now, and so it slides comfortably in at No.15.
14. New Zealand, away
Fair play to New Zealand. They’ve looked at how popular rugby is back home, taken 'inspiration' and then called it an away kit by sticking some ferns on. Good, though.
13. Jamaica, home
The Reggae Girlz are the only nation at the World Cup sponsored by Umbro, who have at least done a damn good job. Yellow, black and green work well together and this is timeless.
Umbro have been going all in on sleeve design at the moment and everyone else could learn a thing or two from them. Lovely stuff.
12. Thailand, home
Oh look it’s Warrix [checks No.17], that famous Thai sports manufacturer who make the national team kit!
In fairness to them, they’ve managed to create a beautiful home and away kit for the Thai women. This deep navy number with light flecks of blue is ace. We’re still not entirely sure what’s going on with that badge, though.
11. China, home
We’ve given this kit the nickname ‘tequila sunrise’.
It’s arguably the lairiest kit on the list, which is fitting considering how we get after: 1) Too much tequila; 2) Seeing the sunrise after a big night out and; 3) Having one too many tequila sunrises. We’ve lost track of what we're talking about, but it’s a lovely kit and China will be looking to do it justice on the pitch… or else.
10. USA, home
This is really nice. Nothing too garish. Quite low key. Simple detailing on the sleeves to represent the colours of the American flag – and who doesn’t love a white kit? Nothing too over the top and… wait, what’s this? A back panel that also includes a tonal grey print of all 50 states. U-S-A!
9. Nigeria, home
Yes, yes, we know: all the hype around this beaut came last summer. But come on. There was a reason we lost our tiny little minds when this came out.
8. Netherlands, home
Some nations arrived early when discussing what colours represent their nation – and the Netherlands were right at the front of the queue. That oranje throws up all kinds of nostalgia; Johan Cruyff, Shanice van de Sanden and Nigel de Jong kung-fu kicking a man in squarely in the chest.
If you think that’s a lion on the crest, think again. That’s a lioness.
7. England, away
Rendered in a dark red crush (whatever that means), a darker shade exclusively for the women’s team, this shirt – and we don’t want to understate this – absolutely bangs. It feels classy, like an evening in Paris. Possibly after a World Cup win.
6. China, away
Inspired by the team’s nickname – Steel Roses – this grey and orange kit features a brilliant all-over Phoenix print which conveys femininity and virtue, apparently. Chelsea butcher orange and greay in the '90s, but China have almost made up for it here. Almost.
5. Norway, home
If you put a red shirt through a blue Instagram, it would look like this. And we mean that in a good way.
It’s also vaguely reminiscent of one of those massive slushies you get at the cinema, drink in the first 10 minutes of the film, then spend the next two hours with a headache, unable to focus on the screen and really needing the toilet. But, right: in a good way.
4. Chile, away
Chile’s away kit? No. No, there’s been a mistake. We all love Chile home kits: especially that ‘90s one with the massive Reebok logo across Marcelo Salas’s chest which looked slightly like a motorway sign.
Well, get this in your head. We love the away kit. Imagine someone running at you in this. Are they going left or right? You’ve no idea. The pattern makes them look skilful. They’ve already gone past you. Left you on your arse, dizzy and ashamed. And that’s in your head. You might as well give up now.
3. France, home
Is it the matt-blue effect that we love? Maybe. It might be the small French flag detailing on the sleeve or the bronze/rose emblem and swoosh. We’re not entirely sure. What we do know is that the French always seem to get the most beautiful kits from Nike. Someone at the FA needs to have a quiet word.
2. Germany, home
It’s like Germany’s 1990 kit, via Tron. Both a bit futuristic and definitely retro. And two stars above the badge, there, just to remind anyone who might think women’s football would be different. No, Germany win a lot here too. And they look great as they do it.
1. France, Away
Polka dots. This shouldn’t work. Polka dots aren’t cool, are they? But leave those Timmy Mallett thoughts aside, because this is brilliant.
This football shirt feels like it's been with us forever. Why did no one ever think to do this before? A genuine classic that we’ll remember for a long time – and is sure to get its fair share of knock-offs in the years to come. Allez les Polkas!
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