When Liverpool had a chance to win the Premier League in 2013/14, something bad happened. After famously telling his pals that “this does not f***ing slip now”, Steven Gerrard only went and bloody slipped, didn't he. You literally could write it.
Five years on from that calamity, Liverpool are again within touching distance. And while the future’s not ours to see, it’s possible that someone in Jurgen Klopp’s side is going to fall on their arse – literally or otherwise – and ruin everything.
But who are the most likely candidates? Some members of the squad experienced the 2013/14 collapse first hand and still carry those scars. A few, lacking the experience of winning titles, could buckle under pressure. Others just seem prone to falling over.
Ranked from least to most likely, these are Liverpool’s potential slippers... *cue Underworld*
20. Georginio Wijnaldum
Once a player who could score four goals in a match for Newcastle, Wijnaldum is now a rock-solid midfielder whose role explicitly involves not slipping. He’s really good, really calm and his name doesn’t rhyme with any Doris Day songs.
19. Divock Origi
Origi isn’t a brilliant striker, but luck has been on this side this season. If he can conjure the ball from above the crossbar like he did against Everton at Anfield, the Belgian can stay on his feet for the entirety of a five-minute substitute appearance.
18. Xherdan Shaqiri
Liverpool’s loveable cube won’t be letting anyone down this season. So low is Shaqiri’s centre of gravity, the Swiss probably struggles to fall into bed at night.
17. Daniel Sturridge
One of a few survivors from the 2013/14 season, Sturridge came off the bench in Liverpool’s infamous defeat to Chelsea. He’s seen the horrors up close, but one suspects he won’t be near the team if Klopp can help it.
16. Adam Lallana
Lallana isn’t immune to the dangers of turf. Paying homage to Iago Aspas, he once ended up on his knees while taking a corner.
It’s hard to see the Englishman playing a significant role this season, which is a shame because his name almost rhymes with “banana”, giving it serious potential.
15. Fabinho
The Brazilian midfielder had a stinking start to life at Liverpool but looks to have found his groove. Not in a literal sense, although neat furrows in the Anfield turf might have prevented Gerrard’s infamous fall.
14. Naby Keita
Keita grew up idolising Titi Camara, who spent the Merseyside derby build-up exchanging unpleasantries with Everton fan (and retired boxer) Tony Bellew. But no knockout blow coming his way, you'd think.
13. Virgil van Dijk
The most reliable centre-back in Liverpool if not the world (apologies to Dejan Lovren), Van Dijk could still slip. He should really get a potential mistake out of his system by scoring a Djimi Traoré-style own goal when 5-0 up, thus proving he's human after all.
12. James Milner
Milner is as laughably reliable as the ironing board he's loveably promoted on Twitter, but don’t forget that his Manchester City team won the league at Liverpool’s expense in 2013/14. A good omen or a bad one?
11. Sadio Mané
The only real threat posed by Mané is his tendency to imitate team-mates. Copying Roberto Firmino’s kung-fu kicks and pistol hands is funny, but doing the same for Stevie G's belly flop would be the ultimate lark.
10. Alberto Moreno
There’s no strong evidence that the teddy-faced Moreno will add to his two Premier League appearances this season, but that doesn’t stop him being a giant risk to Liverpool’s title challenge.
Loaning Nathaniel Clyne to Bournemouth already looks a bit weird, but it could get a whole lot weirder come April 14, when Liverpool play Chelsea at Anfield just days before a potential Champions League second leg. Fatigue leads to rotation, rotation leads to Moreno, and Moreno could lead to very bad things indeed.
9. Andrew Robertson
Thank god for this bloke, then.
Seeing how Brendan Rodgers almost won the league with Jon Flanagan at left-back, this season should be a walk in the park for Klopp and Robertson. The Scot is brilliant and has cleared the very low bar set by his predecessors, but there’s always pressure on him to support both defence and attack. And with so much ground to cover...
8. Roberto Firmino
Of Liverpool’s big-name front three, Firmino has had the most disappointing season. He's more likely to dazzle an opponent into blundering with those shiny pearly whites of his, but the Brazilian's no-look antics could land him in a spot of bother when it comes to putting one foot in front of the other properly.
7. Trent Alexander-Arnold
Alexander-Arnold has shown very few signs of weakness in a fine campaign, but thinking about how sad it would be if the youngster messed up somehow makes it more likely.
6. Joe Gomez
As above, but in a more important position. He'll be back after the international break.
5. Joel Matip
The Cameroonian giant usually looks reliable, but he did shank the ball into his own net against Manchester United with very little persuasion. That one was ruled out for offside – but is it a sign of things to come?
4. Mohamed Salah
The Egyptian was playing for Chelsea when Gerrard hit the deck five years ago. Though fairly anonymous in that match, Salah was booked for deliberately chopping down Raheem Sterling, showing his Kop credentials way ahead of time. And when Salah slips, so do Liverpool...
3. Dejan Lovren
Liverpool fans: "Please don't let Lovren anywhere near the title run-in, Jurgen. Just don’t."
Everybody else: "lol"
Just doesn’t bear thinking about, does it?
2. Jordan Henderson
Henderson was a key player for Liverpool five years ago but missed the Chelsea defeat and subsequent Crystal Palace draw through suspension. His red card against Manchester City pushed Joe Allen and Lucas Leiva into the team, so ceding the title was really his fault as much as Gerrard’s.
“That is something I've had to live with,” the captain recently told The Telegraph. “But we are years on here, a totally different squad of players and totally different scenario. I don’t like to look too far back into the past.”
1. Alisson
Look, you can be one of your team’s best players and still be the one to mess things up. That’s really the point of all this.
Alisson, one of Liverpool’s finest, has already made two big mistakes this campaign. The first fused Traoré twirling with Dudek vs Forlan nonsense; the second gave Manchester United an easy goal. Neither proved costly, but the ghost of Loris Karius continues to make his presence felt around Anfield.
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