10. Valencia, 2000/01
Valencia were the Atletico Madrid of their day (in that they were Spanish and lost a couple of finals) but just trawling through the squad, there were technicians and personalities to make even Diego Simeone weep.
Curly-haired playmaker Pablo Aimar. Peroxide prince Santiago Canizares, who ruled himself out of the 2002 World Cup when he sliced his metatarsal trying to catch a glass aftershave bottle with his foot. Vicente on the left wing, the smoother-than-smooth Gaizka Mendieta pulling strings. Big bad John Carew in attack; Roberto Ayala locking strikers in his dungeon at the back. It's not a pre-requisite that every cult team has to have Didier Deschamps – but it certainly helps.
It genuinely looked like their year, right until they had to face a German team on pennos. That Valencia side might not have their name on the Champions League but they left an indelible mark on our hearts.
9. Monaco, 2017/18
In all probability, Leonardo Jardim probably had no idea quite how good his Monaco side were when he started the season. It was perhaps only when they smashed Manchester City that any of us actually wondered whether these French minnows were actually world-beaters.
The attack was accidentally flawless. A teenage Kylian Mbappe partnering a world-weary Radamel Falcao, back to prove he was still prolific after successive confusing loans to Manchester United and Chelsea. Bernardo Silva balling out wide on one side; Thomas Lemar on the other. Fabinho and Bakayoko in the centre; Joao Moutinho to bring in for depth.
It was frankly ridiculous. A principality club just happened to stumble upon six to eight world-class footballers, all in their pomp at once before selling them all for over £300m. Lord knows what they'd have achieved if they'd have stayed another season, let alone two.
8. Newcastle United, 2002/03
Alan Shearer was made for Champions League football. Clarence Acuna, however – a defender once pulled over by police while driving in fancy dress over the alcohol limit, because he was too embarrassed to walk home dressed as Captain Hook – was not. That's perhaps why this group stage campaign was quite so Jekyll and Hyde.
Newcastle United's Champions League journey in 2002/03 is iconic. They lost all three of their opening matches before - to quote Jermaine Jenas - realising that Juventus were not that good and winning their next three. And this was a humdinger of a roster. Shay Given in goal, Speed, Dyer and Jenas in the middle, Laurent Robert and Nobby Solano providing spark, with Bernard and Woodgate in defence. Lomana LuaLua, Shola Ameobi and Craig Bellamy were all wildly different options to partner Wor Al; Sir Bobby Robson was in the technical area.
Newcastle were inexperienced at that level – but they took to Europe with verve anyway and were fantastic to watch, whether they spectacularly won or lost.
7. Bayer Leverkusen, 2001/02
Bayer Leverkusen's triple throwaway of the league, cup and Champions League remains the greatest bottle-job in European footballing history. And it's such a shame when you remember how great that side was.
Chainsmoking madman Klaus Toppmoller had Michael Ballack, Ze Roberto and Lucio, all pre-Bayern, and all at their devastating best. Dimitar Berbatov was in the squad. Hans-Jorg Butt – the goalkeeper who scored three penalties against Juventus for three different clubs – was between the sticks, while Carsten Ramelow and Jens Nowotny added some steel.
They were blistering all season. They tore Liverpool apart, broke Fergie's hopes of a Hampden send-off… and then they got Zidane'd. A fair few of them then got beaten weeks later in the World Cup final. Talk about not being able to catch a break.
6. Borussia Dortmund, 2012/13
Robert Lewandowski's four-goal haul against Real Madrid remains one of the most incredible Champions League performances of all time. Jurgen Klopp grinning from ear to ear; Cristiano Ronaldo and Mesut Ozil shellshocked. It made plenty fall in love with Dortmund.
BVB's brand of high-octane pressing was like something from another galaxy. Ilkay Gundogan was the engine, Mario Gotze and Marco Reus artists, with the likes of Jakub Błaszczykowski, Ivan Perisic and Kevin Grosskreutz ruthless and razor-sharp.
Looking across that side, there were so few genuine examples of players faster, taller or stronger than the elite. They just out-ran, out-worked and out-thought everyone that season. The world fawned over Dortmund and they have done ever since – with practically everyone but Reus replaced over and over again.
5. Ajax, 2018/19
If you're British, there's a strong chance that you had Tottenham's trip to Signal Iduna Park on TV the night that Ajax tore Real Madrid a new one in the Bernabeu. Apologies if you missed it.
The likes of Frenkie De Jong, Donny van de Beek, Dusan Tadic and Hakim Ziyech striding through a team who had won the last three Champions League titles was perhaps something we will never see in quite the same way again. This was a side with a confidence that you simply could not bottle, exemplified by the speed of David Neres and the brawn of Matthijs De Ligt. It was perhaps the most perfect team performance that the competition has ever seen.
That they went and knocked out Cristiano Ronaldo's Juventus in the next round was almost as impressive. In typical Dutch fashion, they didn't quite make it all the way – but the sumptuous football they played was glorious while it lasted.
4. AC Milan, 2004/05
There was a goal in the first half of AC Milan vs Liverpool in the Champions League final of 2005 that may well have gone as one of the greatest in the competition ever... had the comeback not happened. Kaka drops a shoulder, turns 180 degrees, slides a first-time pass through to Hernan Crespo, who scoops it first time over Jerzy Dudek.
It summed up the grace and beauty of that team perfectly. Crespo, Shevchenko, Kaka, Pirlo, Seedorf, Nesta, Stam, Dida (with Rui Costa on the bench) - it's easily the best side to never win the Champions League, as well as being the side to throw away the Champions League in the most entertaining way.
2003's Milan were gritty and cagey. 2005's edition knew how to turn on the style.
3. Deportivo La Coruna, 2003/04
Deportivo are remembered for painting the town blue and white briefly, winning a title then slipping into the second and third tiers, like an Iberian Blackburn Rovers. But while Depor won the title as early as 2000 with Pauleta in tow, it wasn't until 2004 that they truly became a cult Champions League side.
Roy Makaay had sadly left by then to go and bully other defenders but still Deportivo had Diego Tristan as trusty no.9 and Walter Pandiani staring down the opposition. Brief Tottenham obscurity Noureddine Naybet was there, too - his Wikipedia page has a USA '94 card as his profile photo, rather brilliantly - but that was it as far as, erm, stars went.
The real stars were the performances they put in. An 8-3 defeat to Monaco in the groups was followed up by the most bonkers remontada seen up to that point: beating holders AC Milan 4-0 after losing to them 4-1 in the leg before. It couldn't last forever, simply because Jose Mourinho's Porto had no heart and whacked them in the semis. But whatever league they're in now, they're cordially invited to any all-time CL party that we host.
2. Leeds United, 2000/01
For years, Leeds United's Champions League semi-final in 2001 was used as a stick to beat the excess and fall from grace that the club later suffered. Isolated, however, that team remains one of the most exciting English sides of the modern era.
There was genuine top quality in every position. Rio and Woodgate in central defence; nephew-uncle full-back pairing (yes, really) Ian Harte and Gary Kelly either side. Mark Viduka before Middlesbrough; Alan Smith before midfielding. Harry Kewell before Leeds fans hated him. Bowyer, Bakke and Batty. And Olivier Dacourt was excellent, too.
Robbie Keane was on loan from Inter Milan, for goodness sake. This was a different era – and yes, Leeds' European giants may well have been unsustainable but wins against Lazio and Milan, plus a draw at home to Barca, sure were great while it lasted.
1. Monaco, 2003/04
They were coached by Didier Deschamps in a leather jacket. How could they not be our no.1?
Jerome Rothen's wicked left foot, with a young Patrice Evra overlapping. Ludovic Giuly captaining the team, Dado Prso in the side, Emmanuel Adebayor getting his first minutes and Fernando Morientes scoring against parent club Real Madrid. This was a team of Championship Manager favourites living the virtual dream - and they were unbelievable.
Their group stage thrashing of Deportivo was legendary. Their win against Real Madrid iconic. Their destruction of Claudio Ranieri's Chelsea coldhearted. Monaco were simply Hollywood that season, putting viewers through every emotion possible. By the time they came up against Mourinho's Porto in the final, we were all routing for them. Of course, they let us down.
Deschamps went into international management curiously early, while the entire team got ripped apart. The Monagasques seemingly knew that a sequel could never be as good as the original.
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