It is always one of the highlights of LLL’s year when Cristiano Ronaldo breaks some kind of goalscoring record and parallel universes immediately form in Spain. The Portuguese poacher’s two strikes against Malmo in a rather dull-as-dishwater affair in the Champions League had Marca breathless with excitement.“Cristiano is a legend!” yelled the paper’s website on Wednesday night, as they crowned the former Manchester United man Real Madrid’s new record goalscorer having overtaken Raúl with 324 goals.
Which is all well and good except that, over in AS-land, Ronaldo is merely equalling the tally of Señor Gonzalez Blanco’s 323 strikes. Indeed, Her Majesty’s BBC are also running with the 323 figure.
Heck, even Ronaldo himself is following suit with that narrative, saying after the match that “to equal this record for Real Madrid is great. I am glad to come to Sweden and score again.”
It's all Pepe's fault
So what gives? Long-standing readers of LLL will know all about the Pepe ghost goal. It all harks back to September 2010 when a Ronaldo free-kick spooned off Pepe and the powers-that-be announced that the goal belonged to the defender. Marca - this all happening during the early days of the Messi vs Ronaldo battle, remember - decided to award the strike to Ronaldo as part of their Pichichi award; their argument has always been that it’s their party and they will award the goal to whoever they blooming well please.
Given the extraordinary rate at which Ronaldo has found the back of the net for Real Madrid - the 30-year-old reached the 323 landmark in just 308 games - we can at least console ourselves with the knowledge that this problem will finally go away once he scores just one more goal, possibly in this weekend's Madrid derby. LLL is looking forward to everything aligning again and harmony spreading across the land.
Mixed bag
Real Madrid were not the only Spanish side to triumph in Europe this week. Barcelona may have been just minutes away from having the watching world declare them a one-man-team, but they ultimately popped up with two late goals. On balance, it would be more accurate to call the whole night a draw given that Andrés Iniesta is now sidelined for up to a month. Pizza parties round Messi’s pad ahoy!
Valencia were the other La Liga side to grab all three points with a very handy victory against Lyon. Sevilla can be forgiven for losing to a Juventus side in desperate need of a victory, although Marca was somewhat less sympathetic by sniffing that the Andalusians never really turned up for the game in Turin.
The biggest surprise came at the Vicente Calderón, as Atletico Madrid lost 2-1 to Benfica. It is now two defeats in a row for the Rojiblancos, which is either worrying ahead of the Madrid derby because Atletico are in bad form or positive because Diego Simeone’s players will be too afraid of the consequences should a third game be lost in succession. It all depends on which side of the La Liga bed you sleep on, really.
League leaders Villarreal are in action against Viktoria Plzen in the Europa League on Thursday, with Marcelino laying down an early marker in this season’s competition for the most inappropriate use of the word ‘final’. “Thursday’s match is a final. If we don’t win then it could become difficult.”
Finally, the item of business that tickled LLL the most this week fits in well with the whole notion of Spanish football being an odd little beast. In an interview with AS, Malmo striker Markus Rosenberg was asked whether or not he still follows his former club, Racing Santander. “I still do,” confirmed the Swede. “Mainly because they owe me 10 months’ wages.” Marvellous.
