West Bromwich Albion have taken drastic steps to save their season by sacking their manager and asking the experienced Tony Pulis to steer them out of danger.
Pulis, who had been without a club for over an hour, takes the reins with West Brom in 17th place and in dire need of his no-nonsense attitude and organisational nous – qualities conspicuous by their absence at The Hawthorns this season.
To forestall a fan revolt against the manager, chairman Jeremy Peace today picked up the phone to Pulis, formerly of Crystal Palace, Stoke and Stoke
Baggies supporters had grown frustrated at their side’s defensive naivety, a situation they blamed on the previous occupant of the manager’s office who was also responsible for recruiting the desperately unbalanced first-team squad.
To forestall a fan revolt against the manager, chairman Jeremy Peace today picked up the phone to Pulis, formerly of Crystal Palace, Stoke and Stoke, hoping he would finally whip the players into shape and give the crowd what they had been sorely missing.
Immediately at home
A source close to Pulis said: “David [Tony] Thewlis [Pulis] is delighted to be back in the Premier League, and he already feels at home in the Black Country, like he’s lived here for years.
“He’s found somewhere [to live] surprisingly quickly, and the directions [to the training ground] are already programmed into his sat-nav.
"[By] remarkable [coincidence], his favourite shops and restaurants [are all here too], and he is [amazingly] knowledgeable [about Sandwell Valley's various nudist resorts].”
West Brom captain Jonny Evans told FourFourTwo that the players were looking forward to meeting their new boss, after their relationship with his predecessor broke down irretrievably.
He said: “Say what you like about Tony Pulis, but he can’t possibly be worse than Tony Pulis.”
Please note: This satirical news story is not real. Like, obviously.
