Sunderland suit Congerton has already messed up his garden
Former sporting director struggling with new role, report Back of the Net.

Days after being placed on gardening leave, former Sunderland sporting director Lee Congerton has completely unbalanced his garden with inappropriate seedlings.
Congerton was removed from his role at the Stadium of Light after he masterminded a series of unsuccessful transfers, including spending £8m on Jozy Altidore, £10m on Jack Rodwell, and £14m on Emanuele Giaccherini’s hair product.
Now, his latest efforts to turn around a struggling garden have come to naught, with a row of expensively assembled gnomes offering no protection to a lopsided vegetable patch.
Stadium of grow-light
“He’s splashed the cash around, but he’s only made the existing problems worse,” said Congerton’s neighbour Anna Davies. “He’s got in some brand new lavender, but the garden’s north-facing and they’re never going to get enough sun over there by the fence.
“The dill was just starting to turn it around under the previous gardener, but Lee’s gone and overloaded the space with carrots, which makes me think he’s just making it up as he goes along.”
Friends of Congerton insist that his long-term investment in hardy perennials will eventually pay dividends, but many experts believe the former Hamburg man is out of his depth in the herbaceous border.
Get FourFourTwo Newsletter
The best features, fun and footballing quizzes, straight to your inbox every week.
“New cuttings are not always the answer," said experienced gardener Alan Curbishley, 58. “I’d recommend Lee focuses on improving the plants he’s got. If he’s going to rip out the beetroot after one disappointing salad, how’s he going to react when the honeysuckle doesn’t flower for six years?”
Congerton refused to comment on rumours that he was close to leaving his role in the garden and being put on watching-the-cassoulet-doesn’t-overcook leave.
Please note: This satirical news story is not real. But you knew that already, right?

'My dad was a big West Ham fan. I scored at Upton Park once for Arsenal – my dad was in the home end and he was like, "What are you doing, son?"' Ray Parlour on growing up a West Ham supporter

‘Chelsea have to qualify for the Champions League for this season to be a success – they showed that they have the players to perform at a high level, they need a win quickly now’ Blues legend’s fears over recent bad run