FFT.comâÂÂs Rob Burnett has sifted through the best and worst of the weekâÂÂs action..
Well folks, those cheeky footballers have been at it again.
All over the globe theyâÂÂve been covering themselves in glory with wonder strikes, or covering themselves in something else entirely with howlers that could probably earn them ã250 on YouâÂÂve Been Framed.
OGGY OGGY OGGY!
As is traditional weâÂÂll start with a few own goals, and first to Holland where Steve McClarenâÂÂs FC Twente benefited from the kind of gaffe that the former England boss is more used to seeing go against him â Sparta RotterdamâÂÂs Sander van Gessel stabbing home this own goal to open the scoring in a 2-1 win for Twente.
Back in the Premier League, and Stoke were heading towards a crucial 2-1 win over Portsmouth until Ryan Shawcross deflected this shot from Hermann Hreidarsson past Thomas Sorenson to give Pompey an injury time equaliser.
"Precisely as I planned!"
Perhaps MillwallâÂÂs Richard Duffy felt sorry for bottom-feeders Cheltenham and so decided to divert this right-wing centre from Marley Watkins into his own net. Luckily his teammates were not feeling so charitable and the Lions eventually emerged 3-1 winners, much to DuffyâÂÂs relief.
KEEPERS
There was a nasty case of the goalkeeping jitters going around Spain over the weekend.
First, Barcelona glove-man Victor Valdes did his best to help the opposition when he fluffed a clearance straight to Espanyol's Ivan de la Pena, who coolly lobbed him to put the visitors two up at the Nou Camp and on their way to an unlikely 2-1 win.
But not to worry Victor, as Iker Casillas was up to much the same at the Bernabeu when Real Madrid took on Betis. He will have been mightily relieved this poor clearance didnâÂÂt cost him.
However, PortoâÂÂs Brazilian goalkeeper Helton was feeling just as generous to Diego Forlan, allowing a long range shot from the Atletico Madrid striker to squirm through him in their 2-2 draw.
Ever wondered what âÂÂDimitrios Konstantopoulosâ sounds like when being shouted in an angry scouse accent? If you were anywhere near the Cardiff City bench on Sunday you probably would have found out, as Dave Jones was bound to be lamenting his goalkeeper dropping Kyel ReidâÂÂs cross over his own line to deny the Bluebirds a win at leaders Wolves.
"Gleeeeeeeeeeb!!"
Plymouth keeper Roman Larrieu was being similarly clumsy as his awful goal kick was latched on to by Sheffield UnitedâÂÂs Danny Webber, who strode forward unopposed and slotted ball past a very red-faced keeper.
At least none of those guys actually stuck the ball into the net themselves, unlike Yeovil keeper Josh Wagenaar, who deflected a right-wing cross from CreweâÂÂs John Brayford into his own net to complete a fourth win in five for the League 1 strugglers.
MINISTRY OF DEFENCE
This weekâÂÂs award for most bungling cock-up goes to the Cagliari defender Diego Lopez and goalkeeper Federico Marchetti for their Chuckle Brothers âÂÂto me to youâ routine, which allowed Clarence Seedorf to score the winner in a 1-0 win for Milan.
Almost as good is this comedy of errors in a match between Yeovil and Oldham. First the Laticsâ Reuben Hazell hits a back-pass beyond out-rushing keeper Greg Fleming, allowing Gavin Tomlin the simplest of finishes to give Yeovil 2-1 lead at Huish Park. But then the Gloversâ Terrell Forbes instantly hands the visitors an equaliser, heading a long ball back and over his own keeper.
There's no âÂÂiâ in 'team', but thereâÂÂs two in 'idiot'.
GOL!
Now on to the main course, starting at the unlikely venue of St MaryâÂÂs Stadium. Southampton have not enjoyed the best of luck in recent times, but the return of Polish striker Marek Saganowski to the team is now reaping dividends. At home to Preston on Saturday, Saga scored Saints second with this 20-yard larrupâ¦
â¦and followed it up by picking the ball up in his own half, dancing around half the Preston defence and then nutmegging goalkeeper Andrew Lonergan.
Juninho added to a pretty rough week for Barça by curling a free-kick from a tight angle over Valdesâ head into the far corner.
"Moi? Mwah!"
Also in the free-kick parade is this effort from pantomime villain Cristiano Ronaldo, who was seen kicking BlackburnâÂÂs David Dunn and was booked for diving before sending in this beauty to win the game for Manchester United.
âÂÂSuperâ Mario Balotelli has only just been restored to the Inter first team by Jose Mourinho. And itâÂÂs a good thing he was after this free-kick went past everyone and into the back of the net to win seal a 2-1 win against Bologna.
Next, as precise a free kick as youâÂÂll ever see from BoroâÂÂs Stewart Downing as he opens the scoring in a 2-0 FA Cup win over West Ham.
Former Liverpool midifelder Momo Sissoko earned Juventus a 1-0 win thanks to this surging run and goal.
And Fabian Barbiero hammered in a first-time diagonal to put Adelaide 1-0 up against Queensland. As the commentator says: âÂÂRoute one? Route glorious if youâÂÂre an Adelaide Utd fan.â Indeed.
Over at the Bernabeu, Raul swept home majestically from 20 yards to give Madrid number four in a 6-1 mauling of Betis...
...then lobs the Betis keeper from eight yards to make it 5-1. 'Same old Raul, always scoring.'
In a move that will mystify Geordies, Albert Luque (yes, him) flicks nonchalantly home with the outside of the boot from 25 yards to put Malaga 1-0 up at Valladolid.
"Gizza chance - I'm good, honest"
Lazio left-back Aleksandar Kolarov made it 2-0 over Lecce with the sort of shot that normally ends up going out for a throw in. Sweet.
Bayern Munich demolished Sporting Lisbon 5-0 on Wednesday, the pick of the goals being this fine solo effort from Frank Ribery.
And we'll conclude in the English leagues, opening with Jordi Gomez cracking a 20-yarder home late on to seal 3-1 win for Swansea against Doncaster.
Alan QuinnâÂÂs peach of a cross-field pass is met by sumptuous first-touch and clinical finish by Jon Walters for IpswichâÂÂs third at QPR. Losing 3-1 isnâÂÂt very boutique, Flavioâ¦
While bicycle kicks are not just for Brazilians as CreweâÂÂs Clayton Donaldson proved with this peach which sealed a 3-1 win for lowly Crewe against Huddersfield.
This luscious 25-yard lob from Bury marksman Andy Bishop opened scoring at Gigg Lane as Bury dispatched Notts County 2-0.
And we finish the week with Morecambe, as Stewart Drummond lashes a 30-yarder home away at Aldershot in a 2-0 win for the Shrimps.
But if you thought that finish wasn't half bad, boy you ain't seen nothing yet.
On Tuesday night, 10-man Grimsby were clinging on to a 2-0 lead against Sammy McIlroy's men.
But as the second half trickled on, the visitors eventually made thir numerical advantage count, pulling level at 2-2 before saving the very best until last with Garry Hunter unleashing this stunning volley in injury-time.
Until next time...
Enjoy the weekend's games â and send details of any great goals or gormless gaffes to gary.parkinson@haymarket.com
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