Christmas jumpers
Nothing says Christmas quite like Premier League clubs flogging questionably designed festive jumpers for £39.99 a pop. In this slideshow we rank each side's offering from worst to best - although we've judged 17 outfits rather than 20, as Newcastle, Wolves and Southampton are yet to release one. The absolute Scrooges.
17. Leicester
This is the time of goodwill to all men (and women), but Leicester clearly didn’t get the memo. They may be flying high in the Premier League but there’s work to do when it comes to the frankly more important task of making Christmas jumpers.
16. Brighton
Graham Potter may have evolved Brighton’s on-field style of play this season, but this jumper shows there’s still room for aesthetic improvement in other areas.
15. Manchester City
Why did Manchester City think it would be a good idea to mix together every known colour and pattern in the universe? It reminds us of their recruitment policy under Mark Hughes.
14. Burnley
Burnley’s offering is inoffensive but frightfully dull, and looks like it was cobbled together at 4.50pm on a Friday. Sean Dyche needs to rethink his priorities.
13. Bournemouth
At first glance we thought Bournemouth had unveiled a line in vintage style rugs. This jumper keep you warm, but you’d have to put up with some pretty strange looks.
12. Chelsea
Sorry Chelsea, but this just makes our eyes hurt. It’s a gift that would only be suitable for that guy in the office you really don’t like.
11. Watford
Watford are calling this their ‘adult snowflake Christmas jumper’, so it should at least appeal to Hornets fans who like things like human rights and the rule of law.
10. Crystal Palace
Having red as one of their primary colours should have handed Palace an advantage, but this jumper is nothing more than mid-table mediocrity – much like Roy Hodgson’s side, then.
9. Everton
There’s not a hint of red on Everton’s Christmas jumper, and that’s fair enough. Their release doesn’t make us want to immediately cover our eyes and run out of the room, which is sufficient for it to achieve a top-10 finish.
8. Manchester United
A pretty neat jumper all things considered, but we’d like to see evidence that Santa Claus is a United fan. This is the club that once preposterously claimed 659 million supporters across the globe, after all…
7. Liverpool
This doesn’t look as warm and cosy as most Christmas jumpers, but we quite like the blend of red, white and green on the front. Incorporating Jurgen Klopp’s trademark ‘ho ho ho’ laugh is a #classytouch too.
6. Sheffield United
Far be it for us to tell Sheffield United’s penguin what to do, but attempting to ski and play football simultaneously is a recipe for disaster. Still, we’d pay good money to see him deployed as an overlapping centre-back at Bramall Lane.
5. Aston Villa
Villa have shown Burnley how to produce a claret-and-blue Christmas jumper. There’s a lot going on in terms of design, but the lovely colours make up for that.
4. Norwich
You don’t see many green Christmas jumpers, so Norwich rank highly for novelty factor alone. The penguins look like they’re having a good time too, perhaps fuelled by some of Delia’s Christmas punch.
3. Tottenham
Anything that makes a reindeer this happy is fine by us. Now, can he play in midfield?
2. Arsenal
Arsenal’s task is made easier by their red and white colours, but they still deserve credit for producing a pretty pleasant Christmas jumper. Enjoy it, Gooners – you won’t be in the top two for anything else this season.
1. West Ham
We’re suckers for a good pun, so hats off to West Ham for their Christmas-themed twist on their ‘I’m forever blowing bubbles’ anthem. The design is pretty good too, particularly the minimalist tree and the clean claret sleeves. We can’t wait to see Sam Allardyce wearing it in the London Stadium home dugout soon.
