Ex-Everton defender Johnny Heitinga groans about being unable to afford personal shoppers and private jets
Spare a thought for the Dutchman, who says he and his wife can no longer afford life's great luxuries now he's retired.
The former Everton defender, who played 115 matches for the Merseyside club and also made 14 appearances for Fulham, retired in February last season while playing for Ajax.
"When I was still playing football we had a lot more money coming in. Our expenditures were likewise. Now we are trying to adjust," the 33-year-old told Dutch magazine LINDA.
Heitinga says he and his wife Charlotte-Sophie, the sister of Boudewijn Zenden, miss their luxury travel.
"In the past, we sometimes chartered a private jet, but we don't do that now," he said. "On holidays we do still rent a fancy villa, but you get different categories of 'fancy'."
His wife Charlotte-Sophie said: "We are trying to get used to it. Sometimes it is difficult."
Heitinga also revealed that a stylist would have previously decided on the couple's fashion choices, but now they have the problem of having to look for clothes themselves.
"We cannot easily go to Paris, Milan or New York for shopping," sobbed Charlotte-Sophie.
Get FourFourTwo Newsletter
The best features, fun and footballing quizzes, straight to your inbox every week.
So please: just £2 a month could help ex-footballers like Johnny get that feel of Louis Vuitton back.