Ella Toone has opened up about the death of her father, Nick, in September from cancer at the age of 59.
The news was a shock to Toone and the Manchester United star, who scored in the Euros 2022 final against Germany, who said she did not know the extent of her father's illness.
Toone's father was a key figure in her footballing career and saw her win the Euros and FA Cup and reach the World Cup final.
Ella Toone: "Even now, sometimes I think he’s going to come back"
Toone wrote a piece for the Players' Tribune and said of her father's passing: "When he passed, it was a big shock, even to some of the people closest to him, because no one hardly knew he was ill.
"People ask me now, “Why didn’t you tell us?” And I’m like, I didn’t know either. I didn’t know half of it.
"For the past few months, I’ve been trying to figure it all out, trying to get unstuck. It’s still raw. I still feel the pain digging in, the gutting feeling of not having him here anymore.
"Even now, sometimes I think he’s going to come back, like he’s right in the other room waiting for me to come around the corner so he can have a joke or some banter … he was always on a wind up."
After the news of Toone's father's passing the club wore black armbands as a mark of respect.
The England star added her international teammates who have also lost a parent have helped her.
She said: "Friends who also have experienced the uniquely awful feeling of losing a parent have helped me massively in the worst part of my life.
"Now, when people ask, “Who do you look up to?” I say it’s people like Beth Mead and Rach Daly, who’ve continued to play football and be an inspiration after losing someone they love.
"They’ve helped me, massively. I hope that in the future I can do the same for people in my life who might be going through the same thing."
On the pitch Toone is in good form with her performances including a hat-trick against Manchester City in the WSL.
United are currently second in the top-flight and are seven points behind leaders Chelsea.
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