It starts well enough. With romantic music and the pair eyeing each other up, Antonio and his mystery female companion seem ready to get down to some conventional Valentine’s Day business (no, not sitting in an overcrowded and overpriced restaurant, silly).
But there are some football boots to flog here, remember.
So brace yourself for 16 goal celebrations crammed into a minute, including Crouchy's robot, the shoe shine, and Antonio doing his best Homer Simpson...
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