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Back of the Net

A surprisingly funny football blog


Back of the Net

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Christian Benteke: I’ve never heard of me either


Wednesday 05 September 2012 11:06

Aston Villa's deadline-day signing isn't even a household name in his own house, as Back of the Net's John Foster explains...

Days after Aston Villa sprung a surprise with their deadline-day swoop for little-known Belgian hitman Christian Benteke, questions have been asked among those hoping to discover exactly who he is, led by fans, journalists, and Benteke himself.

“Christian Benteke? Never heard of him,” said 21-year-old Christian Benteke, from Belgium. “Seven million pounds is a lot of money for someone who is essentially an unknown quantity. I hope Paul Lambert knows what he’s doing, because from the outside looking in, this has the feel of a panic buy.”

Benteke is likely to go straight into Lambert’s squad for this weekend’s clash with Swansea, and after a deflating start to the new season, the Villa Park faithful are excited about seeing their new signing in action.

“Most people don’t really follow the Belgian league, and I guess I’m no exception,” Benteke told FourFourTwo.com. “What will I bring to the side? Am I ready for the first team? Can I play alongside Darren Bent? Your guess is as good as mine. I’m looking forward to showing everyone what I can do, especially myself.”


Benteke: In this picture somewhere

In common with the majority of football fans, Benteke has had to research himself on Wikipedia.

“So apparently I started at Standard Liège, moved to Genk after a couple of years, then back to Liège, then back to Genk. You have to wonder what the story is there. Oh, and I’ve been played five times for Belgium. Hmm. If I was really ready for the Premier League, you’d think it would be more, wouldn’t you?”

Ultimately, however, Benteke is confident that he will prove a success in the Midlands.

“I’ve got a Villa shirt printed with ‘Benteke’ written across the back, and I’ll be following my progress with interest,” he said. “No-one’s keener than me for me to score some goals, build a reputation, and eventually start referring to myself in the third person.”

Previously, on Back of the Net:
Carroll now photosynthesising, proud West Ham report
QPR told they have to sign Julio Cesar before they can transfer-list him
Van Persie accused of stealing Arsenal's shooting boots
All Michael Owen transfer rumours started by Michael Owen
Rodallega solemnly informs new team-mates of his proficiency at cunnilingus
Pearce feeds promising badminton partnership to 'peckish' Team GB squad

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About Back of the Net

Back of the Net is a surprisingly funny football blog by Paul Watson and John Foster with guest appearances from TV comedian Mark Watson. For more, see their site and Facebook page. Paul Watson's book Up Pohnpei: A Quest to Reclaim the Soul of Football by Leading the World's Ultimate Underdogs to Glory is available now.

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