La Liga Loca

A sideways look at Spanish football


Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

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The Great Weekend Predictions - Round 6


Friday 03 October 2008 13:30

Saturday

Villarreal (2nd) vs Betis (18th)


In the same way that seven dog years supposedly equates to 12 months of a human lifespan, 24 hours in Spain works out as roughly 700 years in the rest of the world.

Despite having an entire summer to sort out the sale of Betis, there is still no news of whether the mysterious mob behind the BSport consortium will be buying out Darth de Lopera’s majority share in the club.

The deadline for the deal is Saturday October 4. If no-one puts their paw print to the contract then the Lord of the Flies will walk away approximately 10 million euros richer, say Marca.

Melli, for one, thinks that the big Betis boss ain’t going anyway. “He’ll always be there,” sighed the defender discussing de Lopera's departure, “and until I see something happening I’m not going to believe it.”

LLL Prediction - Home win


Barcelona (5th) vs Atlético Madrid (7th)

La Liga Loca’s Atleti-insider predicted that things would be all right on Wednesday night for the rojiblancos, on the pitch, but would potentially go a little Pete Tong, off it.

Hosting a Champions League match can be a bit of an ordeal for any team - but especially for one like Atlético which has the organisational abilities of, well, Atlético.

Strange men in suits, clutching clipboards, descend on your stadium and start telling you how to go about your business.

For this reason, every piece of non-UEFA sanctioned advertising had been covered up in the Vicente Calderón, billions of leaflets were handed to fans asking them not to throw things, start fights or racially abuse players and the scoreboard stopped publishing adverts for lap-dancing clubs.


'If you ain't UEFA-sanctioned, you ain't coming in...' 

Indeed, the electronic screen was called into energetic action by showing replays and scores from other Champions League clashes. Unfortunately, it had given up the ghost by the end of the evening and resembled a Tate Modern video installation by showing everything at the same time.

The press zone was temporarily moved from the familiar cramped corridor outside a back-filling toilet to the stadium car park, saving numerous potential bust ups between elbow-jostling hacks.

All in all it was a roaring success. Aside from the game, that is, which was fine in the first half but a bit rubbish in the second.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Sunday

Recreativo (16th) vs Malaga (17th)


As the blog bangs away on its keyboard there is still no word as to whether, Malaga bigwig, Lorenzo Sanz will be charged for his alleged involvement in some financial dodgy dealings last week or treated as a witness to the affair. 

Sanz himself is still continuing to deny his part in the business and declared that he was merely helping out a gentleman called Alvaro Robela with a bank payment in Cordoba. 

LLL Prediction - Home win

Getafe (8th) vs Almería (6th)


Those lost souls who go to watch this goalless draw could find themselves up to 60 euros poorer. 60 euros!

LLL Prediction - Draw (or 6-5 thriller)

Sevilla (4th) vs Athletic Bilbao (12th)

Creaky old Joseba Etxeberria either has a) a big fluffy bunny as an agent, b) doesn’t fancy playing for Swansea, or c) is a wonderful, wonderful person whose nobel gesture will bring tears to the cockles of football fans’ hearts all over the world.

Etxebe has agreed a deal with an incredulous Athletic Bilbao to play for free next season. Of course, this is not unheard of in Spain as the Levante squad did the same thing last year.


Etxeberria: A wonderful person or thicker than two short planks?

The joint-seizing forward is doing it as a gesture of gratitude for “the affection I have received over the years” and wants to complete 15 seasons with the club and play 500 games.

This topped off a wonderful week for Joaquín Caparrós who also received what appears to be a garden gnome from the good people of Bilbao.

“I’m happy about the honour but today is a bad day,” admitted Joaquín on Monday, hours after the side’s home defeat to Getafe.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Mallorca (9th) vs Sporting (20th)


Two wins in a row has skyrocketed a lacklustre-looking Mallorca into ninth place. Not that this stunning success will be rushing to the heads of those Balearic battlers, oh no.

“We have to keep our feet on the ground,” admitted Enrique Corales under the impression that his side had just won 8-0 in Old Trafford as opposed to having beaten Racing 2-1.

LLL Prediction - Home win.

Osasuna (14th) vs Racing (19th)


If paying spectators don’t end up running out of this match screaming “My eyes! My eyes!” La Liga Loca will be very, very surprised.

LLL Prediction - Draw


"Make it stop..." 

Deportivo (13th) vs Numancia (15th)

When Fernando Alonso won the Singapore GP last week, he commented that it was “as if Numancia had beaten Barcelona or Madrid.”

La Liga Loca cannot decide if this was an insult to Numancia or his own F1 team. No matter, Numancia have leapt upon this crumb of positive publicity to send the big-chinned race-loser a shirt and tempt him from yet another day of shagging supermodels on yachts by inviting him to a match.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Valladolid (11th) vs Valencia (1st)

If La Liga Loca was Unai Emery it would have fielded the club’s ball boys in Thursday night’s UEFA Cup match against Maritimo. Instead the men from Mestalla live on to fight another day in a tournament that reached its peak in 1981.

LLL Prediction - Draw

Real Madrid (3rd) vs Espanyol (10th)

Poor Bernado. Despite winning six games in row - his best record on the Bernabeu bench - and managing the team’s first Champions League away victory for almost two years - there are still those in and around the club looking to have a pop at the moustachioed maestro.

Apparently, the club’s directors - clearly more important than anyone-else in the Real Madrid world - were upset by the fact they were told by Schuster that he would be fielding the same line-up that beat Betis.


Schuster: Damned if he does, damned if he doesn't 

Instead, Bernado dropped Raúl - a capital offence for some Real Madrid fans - and perhaps won a tactical advantage over Zenit by allowing the far speedier Higuaín, Robben and Ruud to play fairly effective counter-attacking football.

Sport say that this has lead to pressure from above to let Schuster go at the end of his current contract, which is set to expire this summer.

And that’s something that would make Pedja Mijatovic break into a big, big smile. La Liga Loca is not sure the world is ready for that.

LLL Prediction - Home win

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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot

When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca, Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.

Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.

Comments

  October 3, 2008 16:31

Fletcher_Defender said:

not sure the fans will benefit much from Etxeberria's nice gesture. Its not as if it will lower ticket prices or anything.

  October 3, 2008 16:53

algern0n said:

If Ipswich, through an inexplicable twist of fate, win a cup this season and are victorious in the 2009/2010 edition of the UEFA-Cup (or indeed the Europa League as it'll be called then), will the competition once again be relevant?

  October 3, 2008 20:25

BoroKnight said:

hmmm..... no mention of maniche's pet-dog-under-shirt or guti's black-hole-between-ears...hmmmm

WHO ARE YOU???

AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH THE REAL TIM??

YOU FIEND...I SWEAR IF YOU TOUCH HIS SOMBRERO...

!!!

  October 4, 2008 16:35

Guerrero said:

RE: Etxeberria ... for SHAME, La Liga Loca! For shame!!! Have you no nobility of heart? We complain about ridiculously spoilt men--hopelessly spoilt men--being paid ridiculous amounts of money to tap a ball around a pretty green field of grass, and how they have not a wit of sense of their privilege, their good fortune (largely not a whole lot of sense in general, but spoilt is as spoilt does, right? And that's really pretty spoilt). Until now. Perhaps, the actions of Etxeberria will resonate among his kind, and we will see a new era of football that changes the world. Oh wait, there'd still be the club owners. And FIFA. And the Royal Spanish Football Federation. Besides, the only way I could see Cruijff doing anything for free is if something joggled his pre-frontal lobes like in 'Regarding Henry' (Sorry, it's the American in me that cringes at overtly implying that a bullet could possibly be a good thing. Oh wait, that doesn't sound right. I'm a liberal American. There). Anyway, all ad nauseum joking aside, I find Exteberria's gesture very magnanimous, and one not lost on me.

  October 4, 2008 16:59

Tim Stannard said:

algernon - by coincidence, Town re-entering the competition would give it some meaning and credibility, once again.

Guerrero - I'm with you all the way. I think it's a brilliant gesture. I just hope he gets some perks instead. Free use of the gym, breakfast bar, and isn't required to watch the games he's not called up for.