Spain unites over Barça’s new Supercrack
Tuesday 28 July 2009 10:00
As with the transfer itself, the eventual presentation of Zlatan Ibrahimovic was stumbly, bumbly and all a little bit late.
On Monday night, some 60,000 had gathered in the Camp Nou to welcome the Swedish striker to the Catalan capital.
But they were kept hanging around for two hours before the gathered girls got the chance to show their new hero their breasts with the letters I B R A scrawled onto them.
The delay was due to the Italians back in Milan being a tad slack in faxing the required paperwork confirming the Mad Sammy Eto’o deal was done and dusted.
The stereotype-loving La Liga Loca likes to imagine a couple of chuckling Inter suits standing over the machine saying “Eh!- lets-ah make-ah the Spanish wait a bit-ah! Eh!” before going off for the longest of lunches.
Before the contractually obliged ball-juggling and arm-waving from Zlatan took place, there was a press conference from Barcelona’s new signing.
He answered hard-hitting questions such as “are you looking forward to playing with Messi?” in English, which were then translated into Catalan and Spanish by a rather clever multi-lingual lady, making the whole process rather long.
Before that could take place, Joan ‘Joan’ Laporta, King of Catalunya, engaged in his very bestest hobby - hearing the sound of his own voice - with a speech that was typical of the Barcelona president in that it was loaded with examples of insecurity and paranoia.
“We did not use a single euro of our bank debt,” claimed Laporta, making a jagged reference to the cursed Real Madrid.
“This makes Barcelona a serious club who respects the rules.”
Once the formalities had taken place, Ibrahimovic went onto the pitch for a kick-about before having to leg it down to the dressing rooms sharpish having sparked a pitch invasion where some fans scooped up large chunks of the newly laid pitch to take home as souvenirs.
A day later, and the Spanish press have come together as one in thinking that the former Ajax man’s arrival at Barcelona is a very good thing, indeed. But for different reasons.
Sport blast “Ibrapasion!” as their headline with Joan Vehils backtracking on all the vulgar Galactico attacks by writing that “sure, he’s expensive, but is there such a thing as a cheap supercrack?”
In Mundo Deportivo, J.M. Artells is happy to announce the birth of Ibramania but is another who cannot resist the opportunity at a pop at those up in Castle Greyskull.
“Whilst Guardiola’s Barcelona manage these times with tact,” continues the columnist, “Real Madrid market their stars as infallible gods to forget their recent miseries.”
Marca are happy to welcome Zlatan to Spain and note that the forward is “exactly what a team who have won everything need, a footballer with hunger.”
AS chose to attack what they see as hypocrisy from Laporta over his recent accusations over Madrid’s “thievery and imperialism” but praise Pep for using his sense of “feeling” to ditch Eto’o and swap him for the Swede.
Even Florentino Pérez has joined in the fun and says the Zlatan’s arrival is a positive point for the Spanish game as it “is good for the league and shows that the best in the world want to play here.”
The 60,000 attracted to the Camp Nou and the media interest sparked suggests that perhaps Pérez’s most important criteria for any player has also been fulfilled.
At a sports forum held on Monday, the Real Madrid big cheese commented that “you have to be convinced that the player you are betting on has a profit value that will improve income on the gate with TV rights and marketing.”
Being a decent footballer is less of priority for the Real Madrid president, it seems.
But that’s not a problem for Barça’s new signing - someone that La Liga Loca has already taken a shine to.
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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot
When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca,
Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.
Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.