Getafe’s goal to be big boys again
Thursday 06 August 2009 12:00
Today’s update from la Liga Loca begins with a short competition.
One of these scenarios has never been used by Getafe as part of an advertising campaign to boost season ticket sales ahead of a new campaign. Three of them have.
a) A teenage boy changes into his transvestite alter ego while his dad watches in the background. “My father’s proud of me. I’m a Getafe fan,” he says.
b) A pot-bellied Madrid taxi-driver type sits in the stands at Getafe’s Coliseum stadium while two blonde lap-dancers bump-and-grind over him as a match takes place below. “Life doesn’t get any better than this,” he grins.
c) A series of religious figures including Joan of Arc, Moses and Jesus give up their spiritual paths and turn their back on God to become Getafe fans.
d) A despondent looking man in his dressing grown gives birth to an egg. Out of the egg jumps a dwarf dressed in a muscle suit. The tiny person then proceeds to leap around in a feverish, excitable manner.
The odd one out is answer b) - although the idea is probably being lined up for next summer.
Answers a) and c) were concepts used in previous years, causing an understandable number of complaints from a whole range of organisations from gay groups to the Catholic church.
“It is true that some of our campaigns have not gone down too well with some people in the past,” admitted Getafe president Angel Torres this week.
But Getafe have decided to plant their wicket on safer grounds this year with the very surreal d) - an advertising spot that also features a car park attendant growing a poorly CGI’d face on the back of his head.
The general aim of these adverts is to help fans move on from the disastrous campaign of last season when Getafe avoided relegation by the slimmest of margins.
“Prepare to be big again,” says the new slogan on the club’s bright new future.
Unfortunately, La Liga Loca has some doubts that this can ever happen with Michel in charge.
The former Real Madrid man took over at the end of last season but is very much Spain’s version of Bryan Robson - someone who lived off his reputation as a footballer to get managerial gigs.
This sounds harsh, but the Getafe trainer’s managerial record has been less than sterling up to now having failed to take Rayo Vallecano out of the Segunda B during his spell in charge.
Michel then managed to relegate Real Madrid’s second team, Castilla, from the Segunda A division - something that has caused those at Castle Greyskull no end of bother over the past few seasons when it comes to keeping hold of their younger talent.
Nevertheless, Getafe’s squad has seen some reshuffling over the summer with defensive midfielder Eugen Polanski joining Mainz on loan.
Striker Ikechukwu Uche has joined the fun at Zaragoza while Esteban Granero was put out of his sulking misery by hooking up with Real Madrid, once again.
Going in the opposite direction from the Bernabeu, it’s young Brian May lookalike, Dani Parejo, and the rather nifty Mané coming into the full-back position from Almería.
But perhaps the biggest change at the Coliseum over the summer has been a change of shirt sponsor with the name of fast-food giants, Burger King, now emblazoned across the footballers' chests.
“We were predestined to find each other,” blathered company suit, Elias Díaz Sesé.
“On the one side, the cheeky or ‘jeta’ character of Geta and on the other, the blue blood of our king of hamburgers.”
It remains to be seen if the fans will be relishing the season ahead or telling Michel the manager to burger off.
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About Tim Stannard and Simon Talbot
When he isn't fighting the evil forces of flamenco or attracting libel actions for La Liga Loca,
Tim Stannard is building his media empire in Madrid. As well as contributing to Football365 and doing odd jobs elsewhere, Tim also works in the glamorous world of television as a producer, script writer, news editor, coffee boy and stand-in fluffer.
Simon Talbot? Well, he's a man of mystery.