The backheeling, egg-boiling Premier Review
Tuesday 06 April 2010 16:00
So Chelsea claimed pole position at the weekend, beating Manchester United 2-1 at Old Trafford in controversial style.
Didier Drogba’s second half strike was clearly offside prompting Old Trafford boss Sir Alex Ferguson to comment: "What I can't understand is the linesman's directly in front of it. He has no-one near him and he gets it wrong a game of that magnitude, you really need quality officials and we didn't get them today. It was a poor, poor performance."
Or maybe he was remarking on his own side’s goal which came off the arm of United’s striker Federico Macheda, but somehow I doubt it.
Let’s not forget Chelsea’s opening goal though, a wonderful effort from Joe Cole, who cheekily backheeled a Florent Malouda cross past Edwin van der Sar giving the Blues first blood after an opening 20 minutes which were tighter than Cole’s own shorts. Well maybe not that tight.
But we must have sympathy for Fergie (stop laughing at the back). Chelsea’s winning goal was miles offside, and it’s difficult to see how the assistant failed to make the call.
How will his girlfriends take him seriously when he brings out the faithful salt and pepper to explain the offside rule? Then again, he is an assistant, surely he doesn’t have a girlfriend.
The battle for fourth place is really hotting up, and to quote Alan Partridge: “It’s hotter than Debbie Harry, in cammy knickers, spoon feeding chicken vindaloo to Pan’s people, that’s half as hot as it is!”
Tottenham slipped up as did Liverpool, but Villa and Man City kept their dreams alive with wins over Bolton and Burnley respectively.
Game of the week was at Sunderland’s Stadium of Light, where the home side fully deserved their 3-1 win over Spurs, but didn’t half make hard work of it.
Darren Bent did his World Cup chances no harm, scoring two goals, and adding to his already impressive tally of 23 goals this season. He’s really beginning to look like an England player, but worryingly only because he failed to score from two penalty kicks.
Then again, calling them missed penalties doesn’t really give Spurs’ keeper Hurelio Gomes credit; the Brazilian brilliantly saved both spot-kicks, keeping his team in the game before Bolo Zenden wellied in an absolute beauty to put the game beyond Spurs, and putting the Black Cats top of the Alternative Premier League.
Meanwhile, Manchester City took full advantage of the slip-ups of Spurs and Liverpool and did it in style, with a 6-1 battering of Burnley at Turf Moor. They surely must be favourites now to get knocked out of the Champions league qualification rounds next season.
Spare a thought for poor Burnley manager Brian Laws, who saw his side go 4-0 down within the amount of time it takes to prepare, cook, and eat a hard boiled egg.
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Tags: Chelsea, Manchester United, Didier Drogba, Joe Cole, Sunderland, Darren Bent, Burnley, Tottenham Hotspur, Manchester City, Heurelho Gomes, Federico Macheda
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About Rob Carey
Behind Alan Shearer, Rob is hoping to become England’s second most famous son of a sheet metal worker. He spent most of his childhood worshipping Kenny Dalglish, running around muddy pitches, collecting Panini football stickers, and drawing the weekend’s football highlights in stickmen form.
Today he can be found in California worshipping the sun, hobbling through an over-30s’ match, collecting injuries, and drawing the weekend’s football highlights in stickmen form. He certainly wouldn’t say no to anyone offering him enormous sums of money to turn his blog
One Pound The Large Flag into a book.