Brad Pitt, AC/DC and Peruvian porn stars - quotes of the season from Argentina

As Argentina celebrates its 200th birthday, the season has finally ground to halt.

The relegation playoffs were settled yesterday: Gimnasia ensured thereâÂÂll be a La Plata clásico by beating Atlético Rafaela for the second consecutive year. There was no such luck for Rosario Central, though, who lost to a side who sound more like the support act for Village People. All Boys are back in the big time...

All Argentine participation in the Libertadores ended at the quarter final stage last Thursday when Estudiantes went out of the competition in predictably acrimonious and aggressive fashion, and the league champions â Argentinos Juniors â have already lost their coach to Boca.

Before the World Cup occupies all attention, hereâÂÂs a look back at some of the more telling quotes from the 2010 Clausura.

Under pressure

âÂÂWe are aiming for a top five finishâÂÂ
Ex-River Plate coach Leo Astrada in the preseason. He was left the millionaires 16th. The club ended the season 13th.

âÂÂI never wanted to go, nor did I quitâÂÂ
Alfio Basile broke a four month silence by speaking to the press in early January. By late January he was gone.

âÂÂMy dream is to win a league title with BocaâÂÂ
Abel Alves takes over from Basile. His record included two wins in 13, before being shown the door.

âÂÂWhen the shit comes hard, you have to grab it with your mouthâÂÂ
Then-San Lorenzo coach Diego Simeone explains his philosphy after losing the clásico to Racing

âÂÂThere are rules that need to be followed, or else this will turn into a Roman CircusâÂÂ
Vélez coach Ricardo Gareca fights a lone crusade for consistency amongst referees

âÂÂFatty. Gay. Druggy.âÂÂ
Ricardo Caruso Lombardi slings some mud at Omar Asad while his Tigre side are thrashed by Godoy Cruz.

âÂÂItâÂÂs like IâÂÂve got an âÂÂavailableâ sign on me. Tigre called me, Godoy Cruz called me. I want a restâÂÂ
In-demand Leonardo Madelón was unable to say no the third time of asking, but still couldnâÂÂt save Rosario Central.

The Big TwoâÂÂs big two

âÂÂI feel ashamed of how Boca is playingâÂÂ
Juan Román Riquelme on the situation at Boca

âÂÂItâÂÂs as if IâÂÂm a disaster, and all the other players are legendsâÂÂ
Ariel Ortega suggests his 6 am car-crashing antics arenâÂÂt the only reason River Plate are in dire straits.

âÂÂI wanted to ask Palermo to swap shirts but I was too shy.âÂÂ
TigreâÂÂs Carlos Luna after his hattrick against Boca - so shy that he then framed his own shirt and hung it up on his living room wall.

âÂÂGod is a Palermo fan. If someone else had scored the goal against Peru, it would have been given offside, but God looked the other wayâÂÂ
Hugo âÂÂEl Locoâ Gatti on the real reason Argentina qualified for the World Cup

The Lucky Tolo Gallego

âÂÂWhen your a-hole opens up thereâÂÂs nothing big enough to give it to you withâÂÂ
Eduardo Coudet implies Tolo Gallego is lucky, adding VAT onto a local expression. Ironically, Coudet plays for Colón.

âÂÂThe luckâÂÂs over, so donâÂÂt bust my balls about it anymore.âÂÂ
Tolo Gallego, The Lucky One according to the press, had so much fortune he lost three key players to injury, saw his side Independiente crash out of a title race and then found himself out of a job at the end of the season.

Defend the indefensible

âÂÂIts not like I should go to jail for itâÂÂ
Breyner Bonilla claims his tackle on Facundo Bertoglio wasnâÂÂt that bad after all.

Riquelme versus Palermo

âÂÂThe only thing we have in common is the shirt we wearâÂÂ
Palermo on Riquelme

âÂÂThis isnâÂÂt set up. This is totally and completely set upâÂÂ
Juan Román Riquelme suggests there is more that meets the eye to negative stories in the press.

âÂÂI didnâÂÂt feel like celebrating the goal in front of that standâÂÂ
Riquelme explains why he didnâÂÂt congratulate Palermo for his record-breaking goal in front of La Doce

Highway to hell

âÂÂI want San Lorenzo to be like an AC/DC song: hard rockâÂÂ
Fill-in boss Sebastian Mendez before losing 2-0 to Boca, just one of the various low points for the Ciclón this season.

Motherly Love

âÂÂI like football, apart from when Quilmes play. If Quilmes play my mum, I want Quilmes to win.âÂÂ
The mustachioed Aníbal Fernández, Cabinet Chief, and one of the architects of Fútbol Para Todos

And finally, letâÂÂs talk about sex

âÂÂSince I took over Racing IâÂÂve been like Brad PittâÂÂ
Tigre coach Ricardo Caruso Lombardi claims his stint in Avellaneda has helped his chances with the opposite sex.

âÂÂPlaying good football doesnâÂÂt mean that youâÂÂll win anything. The best looking girl maybe wonâÂÂt be that good in the sackâ¦âÂÂ
Argentinos Juniors coach Bichi BorghiâÂÂs own analogy on whether attractive football equals good results.

âÂÂIâÂÂm the same in bed as I am on the pitch â I like to attack.âÂÂ
San Lorenzo and former West Brom loanee Juan Carlos Menseguez spells out his approach.

âÂÂThereâÂÂs no way IâÂÂm a 10 in bedâÂÂ
BanfieldâÂÂs Seba Fernández admits to a few shortcomings

âÂÂA friendâÂÂs daughter told me I look like a Peruvian porn starâÂÂ
More from the legendary Bichi Borghi

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